Why Sex Drive Crashes During Pregnancy, for Both Partners

July 7, 2026

Yes, sex drive during pregnancy commonly shifts for both people in a couple, and the short reason is that pregnancy changes hormones, energy, body image, and emotions for the person carrying the baby, while the other partner often pulls back out of worry, a changing sense of identity, or plain anxiety about doing something wrong. If your desire has gone quiet, or your partner's has, neither of you is broken and neither of you is doing this wrong. One woman put it plainly in an online forum: "his sex drive absolutely plummets every time I get pregnant." That experience is far more common than most couples realize, and it goes both directions.

Key takeaways

Desire changes during pregnancy are normal for both partners, and they can swing up or down at different points.
For the pregnant partner, the first trimester often brings nausea and deep fatigue, the second trimester can bring a rebound, and the third trimester usually slows down again as the body gets heavier and more tired.
For the non-pregnant partner, a drop in desire is often about fear of hurting the baby, a shifting identity from partner to parent, and anxiety. It is rarely a loss of attraction.
Talking openly, staying physically affectionate without pressure, and asking your provider what is safe for your specific pregnancy help far more than pretending nothing changed.
This article is about pregnancy itself. Desire and connection often return in the months after birth, which we cover in the postpartum guide linked at the end.

Pregnancy is one of the biggest physical and emotional changes a couple ever goes through together, so it makes sense that wanting sex changes too. Researchers who followed couples through pregnancy found that sexual desire and satisfaction dip for many people, and that both partners can be affected, not only the one who is pregnant (Sexual Dysfunction and Satisfaction in Japanese Couples During Pregnancy and Postpartum, 2018). Knowing what is typical can take a lot of the fear and self-blame out of it.

The pregnant partner: what changes, trimester by trimester

Sexual desire during pregnancy rarely stays flat. It tends to move with the trimesters because the body is doing something different in each one. A prospective study that tracked women into late pregnancy found that sexual problems, including lower desire, became more common as pregnancy went on, especially in the third trimester (Sexual dysfunction in the third trimester of pregnancy and postpartum period, 2022). Studies of sexual activity across pregnancy show a similar pattern, with frequency dropping off as the weeks add up (Sexual activities of pregnant women attending an antenatal clinic, 2020).

Here is the general shape of it, keeping in mind that every pregnancy is different and plenty of people do not follow this pattern at all.

Stage	What often happens to desire	What is usually driving it
First trimester	Often lower	Nausea, vomiting, exhaustion, sore breasts, and a flood of new hormones. Hard to feel sexual when you feel sick and wiped out.
Second trimester	Sometimes a rebound	Nausea often eases and energy returns. Increased blood flow can raise sensitivity for some. This is when many couples feel most like themselves.
Third trimester	Often lower again	A bigger belly, back pain, poor sleep, and fatigue. Positions get awkward, and attention shifts toward the birth ahead.

Body image plays a real role too. Feeling less recognizable to yourself can quietly lower desire, and that is a normal reaction. It has nothing to do with vanity. Research on sexual function in pregnancy consistently points to a mix of hormonal, physical, and emotional factors working at once (Sexuality in the perinatal period: a systematic review of reviews, 2021). The takeaway for the pregnant partner is simple: a quieter sex drive right now is a normal chapter. It is not a verdict on your relationship or your body.

The non-pregnant partner: why their desire can drop too

This is the part almost no one talks about, and it leaves a lot of people confused and hurt. The non-pregnant partner's desire can fall just as sharply, and the reasons are usually emotional rather than physical. The woman quoted earlier said "his sex drive absolutely plummets every time I get pregnant," and her partner is not unusual. Studies of couples and of marital adjustment during pregnancy show that the relationship and both partners' wellbeing shift together during this time (Evaluation of sexual functions and marital adjustment of pregnant women, 2016).

A few things tend to be behind it:

Fear of hurting the baby. This is the big one. Many partners quietly worry that sex could harm the pregnancy, so they hold back. For most healthy pregnancies, sex is considered safe, but the worry alone is enough to shut desire down. Ask your provider about your specific situation so the fear has real information to push against.
A shifting sense of identity. Watching someone become a parent, and becoming one yourself, can change how you see each other. Some partners start to feel protective in a way that competes with feeling sexual.
Anxiety and mental load. Money, birth plans, and the sheer weight of what is coming can crowd out desire. Stress is one of the most reliable ways to lower libido for anyone.
Feeling unsure how to help. When one partner is nauseated or exhausted, the other often pulls back to avoid adding pressure, and that caution can turn into distance.

None of these mean attraction is gone. They mean a caring partner is reacting to a huge life change. Naming that out loud, rather than reading it as rejection, is often the whole fix.

What actually helps during pregnancy

The goal here is connection without pressure. The goal is not to force things back to exactly how they were. A review of perinatal sexuality found that couples do better when they have honest information and can talk openly with each other and their provider (systematic review of reviews, 2021). A few grounded steps:

Say the quiet part out loud. If one of you has pulled back, name the real reason, whether that is nausea, exhaustion, or fear of hurting the baby. Guessing at each other's silence is where couples get hurt.
Ask your provider directly. Ask whether sex is safe for your specific pregnancy and whether there are positions or activities to avoid. Real answers dissolve a lot of the fear that quietly kills desire.
Keep touch alive without it always meaning sex. Holding hands, back rubs, and lying close keep the physical bond warm during weeks when sex feels off the table.
Follow the energy, especially in the second trimester. When nausea lifts and energy returns, lean into it. Desire during pregnancy comes in windows.
Lower the bar on what counts. Closeness, affection, and honesty all count as intimacy. Take the pressure off performance and off any timeline.

One important boundary: pregnancy is not the time to reach for supplements aimed at libido. Anything you take can matter for the pregnancy, so talk to your OB or midwife before taking any supplement while pregnant. NUUD products are not intended for use during pregnancy, and nothing here should be read as a suggestion to take them while you are expecting.

When does it come back? The postpartum hand-off

For most couples, desire is not gone for good. It is on pause. As the body recovers after birth and the household finds a new rhythm, wanting sex, and wanting each other, tends to return. The timeline is different for everyone, and factors like healing, sleep, and breastfeeding all play a part, which is a bigger topic than pregnancy itself.

Because that recovery window is its own story, we cover it separately. If you are looking ahead, read our guide to reclaiming intimacy after breastfeeding, and if the mental load is the thing standing in the way, feeling touched out and finding desire after kids speaks directly to that.

The postpartum window is where many people start thinking about gently supporting desire again. Once you are past pregnancy, cleared by your provider, and ready, some choose an OTC daily supplement made for that. Our women's libido gummies are built around a proprietary NUUD Mushroom Complex plus Muira Puama, Boiled Rehmannia Root, Tribulus Terrestris, and Piper Nigrum for absorption, made for the recovery season and not for pregnancy. As always, check with your provider first, especially if you are breastfeeding.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal for my sex drive to drop during pregnancy?
Yes, it is very normal. Desire commonly dips during pregnancy, most often in the first and third trimesters, driven by nausea, fatigue, hormone shifts, and body changes. Many people also notice a rebound in the second trimester. A lower drive during pregnancy is a normal chapter. It is not a sign something is wrong with you or your relationship.

Why has my partner lost interest in sex now that I am pregnant?
Usually it is fear. It is rarely a loss of attraction. Many non-pregnant partners quietly worry that sex could harm the baby, feel their identity shifting toward parenthood, or get overwhelmed by anxiety about what is coming. As one woman put it, "his sex drive absolutely plummets every time I get pregnant." Asking your provider what is safe and talking openly about the real worry usually helps.

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
For most healthy pregnancies, sex is considered safe, but your situation is specific to you. Certain conditions can make a provider advise against it. The reliable move is to ask your OB or midwife directly about your pregnancy rather than relying on general advice, which also tends to ease the fear that lowers desire.

Can I take a libido supplement while pregnant?
Do not add any libido supplement during pregnancy without talking to your provider first. Anything you take can matter for the pregnancy, so your OB or midwife should weigh in on any supplement. NUUD products are not intended for use during pregnancy. Supplements aimed at desire belong to the postpartum recovery window, once you are cleared.

Will our sex life go back to normal after the baby?
For most couples, desire returns after birth, though the timeline varies a lot with healing, sleep, and whether you are breastfeeding. Pregnancy tends to pause desire rather than end it. Recovery is its own subject, so see the postpartum intimacy guide linked above for what that stretch actually looks like.

References

This article is for general education and is not medical advice. Talk to your OB, midwife, or another qualified provider about your specific pregnancy and before taking any supplement.

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